Friday, May 12, 2006


I wanted to submit, for your consideration, a very unusual pet, Lizzie the Lizard. She is an outdoor pet that lives in the big pine tree and ivy by our porch. She wanders among my plants and keeps bugs away. She really likes my hubby, Charley, and will come out and sit on the arm of his chair when he sits outside. This will be the second year Lizzie has been with us.
She will pose while Charley takes her picture. She has tried to come indoors, but don't think it would be a good idea with Missy Blue Eyes, our tabby. Although Missy would probably enjoy a good chase! ~ML (Mary Lynne)


Blogger Kim said...

I like Lizzie! Growing up in the Deep South, you learn to respect lizards! They like mosquitos!!! Now our cats have never learned this and we would find heads and tails everwhere. What's really neat is that your husband and this lizard have built up a kind of relationship. Anyway, Lizzie is pretty and has such bold stripes!

3:09 PM  
Blogger Karen C. said...

I like lizards and my kids keep asking if we can get one. We go to the pet store to get food for our huge "swimmy" turtles, and we see so many types. They always seem so alert and fun to watch, but I thought one huge heated aquarium was enough for now. It's really cool that you've made friends with Lizzy. If they can be that friendly, maybe I'll give in next time my kids ask.

3:25 PM  
Blogger Kathleen said...

Love them all, even if they're not fuzzy. Can I submit a picture of my Beta fish, Mr. Joe Valentine and our (outside) ducks?

3:41 PM  
Blogger Gheeri's Servant said...

Now- I don't condone this type of behavior AT ALL, but I thought it was funny and thought you all might get the point. Everyone here knows how strongly I fight for fuzzy rights, but you all will get the point of this........


1. Sit on sofa. Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your elbow as though you were going to give a bottle to a baby. Talk softly to it.

2. With right hand, position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. (be patient) As cat opens mouth pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow. Let go of cat, noticing the direction it runs.

3. Pick the pill up off the floor and go get the cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process. Sit on floor in kitchen, wrap arm around cat as before, drop pill in mouth. Let go of cat, noticing the direction it runs.

4. Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away. Bring cat back into the kitchen. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.

5. Pry claws from back legs out of your arm. When recovered,go get the cat from behind the blinds, pick up half-dissolved pill from floor and drop it into garbage can.

6. Call spouse from backyard. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously. Let go.

7. Retrieve cat from curtain rod, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered Doulton figures from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.

8. Get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.

9. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink glass of water to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.

10. Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with rubber band.

11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put door back on hinges. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Throw T-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.

12. Call fire department to retrieve cat from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take another pill from foil wrap.

13. Tie cat's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed, force cat's mouth open with small spanner. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak. Hold head vertically and pour one cup of water down throat to wash pill down.

14. Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.

15. Get last pill from bottle. Go into bathroom and get a fluffy towel. Stay in the bathroom with the cat, and close the door.

16. Sit on bathroom floor, wrap towel around kitty, leaving only his head exposed. Cradle kitty in the crook of your arm, and pick up pill off of counter.

17. Retrieve cat from top of shower door (you didn't know that cats can jump 6 feet straight up in the air, did you?), and wrap towel around it a little tighter, making sure its paws can't come out this time. With fingers at either side of its jaw, pry it open and pop pill into mouth. Quickly close mouth (his, not yours).

18. Sit on floor with cat in your lap, stroking it under the chin and talking gently to it for at least a half hour, while the pill dissolves.

19. Unwrap towel, open bathroom door. Wash off scratches in warm soapy water, comb your hair, and go find something to occupy your time for 7-1/2 hours.

20. Arrange for SPCA to get cat and call local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.

BOOO!!!! The Fuzz Pack DOES NOT give up their fuzzies for medication. But I know most of you know what it's like to give a cat a pill, VS. a dog. LOL

3:42 PM  
Blogger Gheeri's Servant said...

OF COURSE kathleen!!! Furry, finned, flippered or feathered (there was no "F" I could think of for reptiles, but they're included too!), anything you consider a pet can be submitted!

3:43 PM  
Blogger ML (Mary Lynn) said...

Wow, there she (???) is, Lizzie. I'll try to get one of her on Charley's shoulder soon.
Yes, the little gal (???) gets a lot of mosquitos as we live by a bayou.
Oh, Kathleen, really would like to see those ducks and the fish. And the turtles, Karen C. Are the turtles the occupants of your aquarium?

3:47 PM  
Anonymous donna said...

First, I like Lizzie. When we lived in St. George, UT, we saw them all the time. And, um, sadly one of them was too slow for Wiley. She caught it. It did not survive. So maybe keeping it away from Missy Blue Eyes is a good idea.

GS, that was hilarious. I think we all recognize satire and exageration when we see it here amongst ourselves. We all know it's a *joke*. :-) And a pretty funny one.

Thanks for the Friday chuckle.

3:52 PM  
Blogger Emma's Kat said...

Hi Lizzie! That's so cool ML. Do you know what kind of lizard she is? Lol...a wild one, right?

GS, Dang, I thought the comment on my site was long............J/J!! Lol!!

Meowmepurr, I can understand a little where your Momma is coming from, but...I'm personally gonna call you M'sMom, k??

4:00 PM  
Blogger Gheeri's Servant said...

hmm, Lizzie looks like an anole. That's what we have here in So. Florida. They're all over the place. Gheeri was never much the hunter, but her sister Punkin was. She'd catch 'em too quickly for me to stop her, and I've had many lizard burials, LOL.

LOL kat. you haven't read my email yet, have you?

If anyone is wondering, I got the 20 steps from the Infinitive Cat Project. I just tweaked with it a tiny bit b/c of typos and such. *It sucks being a literature major, LOL*

4:12 PM  
Blogger Ella's Mom said...

GS, that was too funny! I think I've seen it somewhere else before but it still has me crying laughing everytime I read it! Good thing I'm working in the office alone now.
Lizzie is cute, though I've never really seen one up close - don't have to many of those in Michigan. I can't imagine having lizards running around outside the house all the time!

4:38 PM  
Blogger Kathleen said...

After going throug Shadow's illness with all the meds, that was a much needed chuckle! So true, the difference between cats and dogs-one wonders who's smarter. No offense to dog owners (I love 'em too), just think they are more willing to please.

4:41 PM  
Blogger Gheeri's Servant said...

Lisa, glad to be of service! Yeah, everyone has gone through so much with the meds, I thought it would be great- I just didn't want to offend anyone. Heck, even I was offended at first (I take animal rights waaaaay too seriously sometimes!).

kathleen, I'm glad you liked it! I hope it provided some therepy. I read it to Bryan over the phone (we're both at work) and he laughed so much(mostly because all-too-often he is the "spouse" called in to help hold down a cat. LOL, Actually, the other day he had to hold Gheeri while I clipped her nails, and he helps steady Toby as I give him his Clavimox-he's a big boy, and evades me easily)

HAHA-the best part was the wrapping in the towel-most cat owners know to do this-but Gheeri has such powerful little kangaroo legs that she can get out of the towel, LOL. So the "shower" scene, I totally sympathize with!!!

4:47 PM  
Blogger Kim said...

GS, that gets funnier every time I see it. And I can so relate!!! Now big ol' boy, Oscar, pills are no problem. However! However, now that we have tiny cat, Simon, I think I'll be in for it!

I've had to give Oscar medication for traveling. The poor guy soils himself and froths at the mouth. When we do medicate him, we make sure to put his carrier on a low, flat surface and cover the it with a towel. We also make sure that cool air is lightly blowing into his carrier. I HATE to do it but is really is needed. He is terrified to travel!!!! Lately we bored him to keep from putting him through that trauma, but when we move or go on long vacations, we take him with us.

A friend of mine has a Dragon. Her name is Puff. The Dragon, not my friend. Puff is beautiful! She's about 12 inches long and has a puffed scruff. I think she's an Australian lizard. I can't remember. Anyway, if we didn't travel so much, I would get one!

4:57 PM  
Blogger Karen C. said...

GS - That was great! I've read a similar one that wasn't as good as yours (shorter, less detail). It ended with: How To Give A Pill To A Dog...Step 1 - Wrap it in cheese.

ML - Yes, my large aquarium is filled with 2 huge "swimmy turtles", as my kids used to call them. A friend got them for us from some guy in downtown L.A. when they were the size of quarters (though it's not legal to sell them at that size). Now, over 4 years later, they're the size of large cereal bowls...VERY large cereal bowls.

5:00 PM  
Blogger Ella's Mom said...

Talking about cats and dogs reminds of this commercial I saw the other day. I dunno if anyone's seen it but It's the one for flea medicine and its these two dogs are playing tug-o-war with a rope and theres a cat just sitting in the middle staring at them. The cat is just looking at them like "dumb dogs" and one of the dogs goes into the pool and the cat still doesn't budge...I laughed when I saw it cause that is just such a typical cat thing to do! Well gotta run time for me to start my weekend!

5:34 PM  
Anonymous casper's mom said...

I think it's fun to have a relationship with the "wild life." Looks like a pretty good sized Lizzie. I feel sorry for the frogs in our back yard when I let the cats out for a romp as they like to play with them. Sometimes the frogs outwit them and sometimes I have to save them. We get lizards in our wood pile when we have one and when our grandchildren were out here from Michigan last year they had a ball holding them and taking pictures of them. Some to the pictures turned out pretty good. They sent me some via e-mail.

7:14 PM  
Blogger ML (Mary Lynn) said...

Hi again. Lizzie is about 7" in length, a little bigger than a chamelon (sp?). I could swear she has slight color changes, from the brown to a greenish, but it could be the reflections of the plants??? Anyway, she helps keep my little herb garden organic (no pesticides needed, thank you Lizzie).

4:26 PM  
Anonymous casper's mom said...

I don't know, it looks like Lizzie could change colors. Kind of weird but When I first looked at her she looked colorful then she didn't. Doesn't really matter Lizzie does it's job and has a good home.

6:23 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home